J-Film Blog

What can I say about 2000’s Versus…?  Let’s see.  Just to put it shortly and succinctly…

I fell asleep watching this movie.  It made no sense, was ultimately dull, it made no sense, wasn’t funny, and made no sense.  I haven’t fallen asleep watching a movie in a long long time, especially one I’m planning on reviewing, but good lord almighty, I couldn’t help myself.

So there’s this guy, right, who gets broke out of prison with this other guy.  They meet up with some mafia types, a bunch of people die, then turn into zombies.   Turns out that this is all some plan of destiny between two ancient “spirits” or something in the ultimate battle between good and evil.

Or something.

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No I suppose this isn’t a “Japanese Movie” per se.  It does take place in Tokyo, and a great deal of it is in Japanese, so humor me.

Abby (the late Brittany Murphy) gets dumped by her boyfriend in Tokyo, and in a fit of desparation, gets taken in by a local Ramen cook and his wife.  They train her up to be his successor, and while they ultimately fail “the test”, everyone feels good and there’s a happy ending and everything.  Yeah, I just summed it up for you.

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Ichi the Killer, the Japanese title translates to “murder dealer Ichi” is a seriously messed up bit of movie from a seriously messed up individual, Takashi Miike.  I  mean, I know I’ve said it before, but damn, what is the deal?!  A psychologist’s dream, this guy.

Look, I’m not even going to go into the details of this one.  Let’s just say there is lots of pointless, disgusting blood.  Everywhere.  On the walls, ceiling, and floor.  Bits of bodies getting deep fried and detached….  Just, WTF is about all I can muster.

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I dunno about Rashomon.  One of Kurosawa’s definitive classics, you really have to be prepared to stick through the whole thing to get to the heart of the matter.  Until then, you’re kind of wondering what the point of it all is.  Which, after all, is the point of it all….  Maybe I should explain.

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before.  A priest, a farmer, and a woodcutter walk into a ruined temple.  No?  Well, news is that a samurai was killed by a local bandito and his female companion raped, and here’s what happened….

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How in the hell can you make a decent, funny movie about ping pong?  Well, they’ve done it.  Ping Pong chronicles the exploits of two table tennis masters: The timid and reserved “Smile” Tsukimoto” (Arata) and the over-the-top “Peco” Hoshino (Yosuke Kubozuka) as they battle through life and their high school ping pong tournaments.

Really, though, this is a movie about Zen.  No, really, it is.  Trust me.  It doesn’t really become clear until late in the film, but it most definitely is.  That’s the real payoff here, as we find out the real reason why Peco and Smile are so good at the game, and what keeps them from winning and/or losing.  I guess, also, you could call this a commentary on Japanese culture in general.  Good or bad I leave it up to you, but the whole “Ganbaremashou!” thing is definitely right up front.

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Wow! What a movie!  TBS (Tokyo Broadcasting System) brings a welcome update to the classic “Blind Swordsman Zatoichi” franchise with the aptly titled “Ichi.”  And the bottom line?

I loved this movie.  I loved nearly everything about it.  It’s the perfect blend of samurai action, drama, comedy, story, soundtrack… you name it.

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First off, Takashi Miike is one sick and twisted individual.  Why I keep using those words in this blog I dunno, just a product of the stuff I’m seeing I guess.  But Miike especially seems to have a firm grasp on the stuff that makes you squirm.  In Audition, he manages to make even hardcore horror and war movie buffs like me squirm in my seat.  And another thing, if you’ve got a fear of needles… don’t even try to watch this!

Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) is a recent newcomer to the widower crowd, and his son Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki) tells him that he needs to get himself remarried.  He mentions this to his partner at work, Yoshikawa (Jun Kunimura) and he comes up with a scheme to “audition” a bunch of women under the pretense of a new TV series.

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There are epic movies.  And then there are epics.  The ones that the other so-called epic films look up to and say “someday I want to be just like you.”

Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai is one of the few in that latter category.  It’s also one of the few films I’ve seen that doesn’t feel like its three-and-a-half hours long.  Full of action, drama, comedy, suspense, with a dash of romance and philosophy thrown in to top off the glass.

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Death this, death that, no its not intentionally becoming a theme around here, lol.  Just seems that the export market from Japan seems to be centered around horror movies or manga/anime adaptations.  Sigh.

Anyway.  Death Trance is, to put it bluntly, just awesome.  Part swordplay/kungfu action flick, part Road Warrior, part fantasy-medieval quest, with that usual dash of Japanese quirkiness, but all awesome.

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